All my live, i missed Chu but never thought I’d be able to go there again; it seemed like a pipe dream. Something changed when I turned 38. I realized, that I was a grown woman, and being an adult means doing whatever you want – not what you just believe you want, but what you really desire and dream about. I began to wonder what dreams I had at all and, after scrutinizing them, separated the real from the fake. Fake or quasi-dreams are narcissistic fantasies and ambitious plans. These fantasies revolve around me – or rather not me but instead a gallery of ideal versions of me. In these dreams, I am beutyful, adored by everyone, accepted, respected, desirable, slim, famous, and sometimes even rich. All these fantasies can be blown away like dust. And in reality, they are dust. As for real dreams, they are our deepest desires, ones that don’t have anything to do with success or recognition. These dreams are not about one’s own self; at their core, they always have something fundamental that transcends and absorbs me, and my own persona disappears from sight. Such as for example a dream of the sea, space, or home.

Oxana Timofeeva, How to love a homeland p. 25f.